The Midnight Edition Archive

A midnight obituary-radio fiction podcast.

Filed after midnight · Literary audio fiction

Illustration for Delbert Spoon — fictional notice from This Day in Deaths, filed from Calaveras County, California

In Calaveras County, California, Delbert Spoon, 56, died during a pie-eating contest at the Saint Bartholomew Volunteer Fire Department Harvest Fair.

Mr. Spoon was a former automobile repossession agent, a part-time fireworks salesman, and, for one month in 2003, the owner of a tanning salon called Bronze Ambition. He was not widely described as gentle. His sister, Lynette, said he had once borrowed her emergency fund to buy a Jet Ski he later described as "church-related."

He had two ex-wives, both of whom declined to comment; a storage unit in Stockton containing novelty beer signs; and a green parrot named Admiral Gary, who reportedly knew several phrases not suitable for broadcast.

Mr. Spoon collapsed during the blueberry division, after insisting on entering despite having already won the apple division forty minutes before. Witnesses reported that his final words were, "I can win this."

The trophy was awarded posthumously and has been placed beside his photograph at the funeral home, though the family has asked that no one bring pie.

  • posthumous harvest fair trophy